The Only Proper Way to Reboot Knight Rider

It’s been tried so many times that by now I’ve lost count, but if the world does indeed crave a watchable reboot of the classic eighties show Knight Rider, this would be the way to do it.

Another Chance
I say this with total humbleness, because there are more roads leading to Rome – if not all -, so this is merely one way for Knight Rider to join The X-Files, The A-Team, The Six Million Dollar Man, Prison Break, Heroes and maybe even Deadwood, Miami Vice and Models, Inc. Just kidding about that last one. Reboots are all the rage, so why not give Michael Knight and his shiny black friend another chance? There are rules, though. They can be found in the Reboot Manifest, which doesn’t exist yet, but at the very least writers and studios should have a sense of what should be in it.

In 2000 Years
They’ve tried to bring back ‘Man with talking car’ a few times. Most recently in 2008, with an updated version. Younger man, modernized car, and David ‘The Hoff’ Hasselhoff giving his blessing. What came out, lacked any creativity, style and humor. If Back to the Future ever gets remade – which could happen 2000 years after Robert Zemeckis has died, apparently, according to his will -, would you leave out the DeLorean? No, of course not. You need the car, flux capacitor, the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance, and give or take one or two pine trees.

Artificial Intelligence Gizmo
You should keep the things you loved about the original, and go from there. That means Michael Long turning into Michael Knight with a little help from a plastic surgeon. It means he’s the top secret agent employed by the Foundation for Law and Government, led by Devon Miles. And it certainly means a black Pontiac Firebird Trans Am, with a red light snaking across its nose, including the voice of William Daniels. That’s the framework you want. Otherwise, it could be just another show starring an action figure with an artificial intelligence gizmo at his disposal (like Person of Interest, Intelligence and Almost Human).

Serialized Procedural
Because a lot of television is serialized nowadays, and even the procedurals now have a tiny ongoing storyline they usually attend to in the last 5 minutes of every episode, the new Knight Rider should also find a strong antagonist, for at least one season – like Justified used to do. Each week, Michael and KITT are sent on a new mission by FLAG. That’s the procedural part. Meanwhile, they have to deal with the threat of somebody wanting to take down the Foundation. That could either be a politician (season 2), who wants to shut them down by any means necessary, a terrorist organisation (season 3), a competitor (season 4) like a private military company – which also paves the way for KITT-clone KARR to make its appearance, but for the first season, I’d suggest a more personal vendetta.

Trial and Error
I’m sure FLAG and Devon had been doing tryouts for a long time, before enlisting Michael. There were George, Jack, Jesse, Hank, Case and Jerald. And Caitlin. They all got plastic surgery, training, a KITT prototype, a watch to talk into; the whole Knight Package. But it’s always trial and error with these kind of things. Some got their faces screwed up, some got killed, some were left behind enemy lines, sacrificed. One of these men surely must have an axe to grind. Presumed dead, Hank (or George) could be the ‘shadowy flight’ that goes after FLAG for a number of episodes.

A Different Home
Although Knight Rider used to air on NBC, it’s not unthinkable the reboot would find a different home. NBC has seriously been stacking up its action series catalogue, so they might not be too eager with yet another one. I can’t imagine Rider to start its engines on cable, though. Netflix could be an option; they don’t shy away from a little warmed up nostalgia.

Expendau Ballet

Fox is developing a “fun action drama that unites iconic TV stars as a new team of highly-skilled heroes who are on a mission to stop a dangerous terrorist.”

In other words: it’s 24: Live Another Day part 2, starring Jack Bauer, leading a bunch of familiar faces, to ultimately catch a terrorist (because that hasn’t been done a million times before). Man, this had better be good.

Fox is taking a page out of the Expendables manual. Take as much has beens as you can get, stuff them all into a movie and voilà as the French say: global success guaranteed.
But as we’ve seen with Sylvester Stallone’s all star eighties reunion movies, it doesn’t work as well as we all thought it would. It’s like assembling a music band with the biggest rock and roll stars out there. Are they going to record the best album of all time? No. That’s Not How It Works.

However. They got one thing right in their little tagline: it will be fun. There are some questions though, like: will these TV stars play their most famous roles? Will David Hasselhoff play Michael Knight? Will Jennifer Garner play Sydney Bristow?
Is Jennifer Garner even going to get a call? Because Fox may say they want the most iconic stars, but that could just as well mean the most iconic Fox stars. This would disqualify Sydney Bristow (ABC), Michael Knight (NBC), B.A. Baracus (NBC), Sonny Crockett (NBC) and Magnum (CBS).

Is it going to be fun to have the actors, but leave their claim to fame roles at the door? Kiefer Sutherland and David Duchovny playing somebody else entirely?

Let me answer that: No. If Fox goes through with it, they should pull out all the stops. No holds barred. All the original actors, in their original roles, from all the other networks. Avoid getting a watered down compromise like The Expendables.